The Real Truth Behind Why Your Children Refuse to Eat Healthy
As mothers, we parent in many areas in our child’s life. From who they are around, to what they read, to the habits they create, but something we forget to parent them in, is the foods they eat. “My child is such a picky eater, all they want to eat is mac & cheese” I’ve heard this way too many times, and honestly, I don’t even know how to respond.
We are responsible for allowing the habits our children develop, including picky eating. We create picky eaters by allowing them to be one. In our home, if there is one thing we don’t tolerate, it’s picky eaters. It's not healthy and it gets worse as they get older. Ask any of our children if they love everything they eat, they’ll answer no, but we eat it. This isn’t easy to keep up with, but Jon and I know it's necessary.
What Causes a Picky Eater
Growing up I wasn’t necessarily forced to eat, but I definitely didn’t get to choose what we were having for dinner. I was expected to eat what was served. Shocking right? Because today it’s more and more common for kids to simply say “ I don’t like it” and BAM, a new meal is presented, a more “fun” meal I may add. We form picky eaters by asking questions like— “what would you like for dinner?” “What if you eat one more bite and then I’ll give you a cookie?” You get the point.
A common fear moms have is: will my child starve? No, they will eat when they are hungry. If you were a picky eater, I think you too can attest that you are here alive today and survived your childhood without starving. A few months ago I was chatting with a friend who was anxious about her little one not eating all their meals. She was scared he may go hungry and would sit him down and force him to eat three meals a day plus snacks. Our child’s mind is probably more in tune with their body than we are because they are still developing patterns. Did you ever stop to think why we believe eating three meals a day plus in-between snacks is a rule? Your body should be your food clock, not the rules created by society. If your child is not hungry, don’t force them to eat. Unless there is a medical reason for their lack of appetite, don’t force them. And most importantly, don’t resort to junk food to get them to eat something.
“My child is seven years old, they love candy. Am I too late?”
Don’t laugh, this is a real fear. No, it is not too late. Given the right foods, the body can heal itself, especially a child’s body. Firstly, make up your mind about what you will and will not allow your child to eat. Be confident in your choice even when you’re sitting at the table with a bowl of veggies and they are staring at it, and staring at you. Be firm but gradual. Don’t expect your child to go from eating cereal every morning to wanting fresh fruits and smoothies. Try switching to a healthy cereal first, then maybe adding fruits to it. Little by little make the change. When it's time for dinner, make sure to include veggies as a side, and try different veggie recipes-it doesn’t have to be raw.
Teach Your Children:
Teach them to recognize real food. Our kids are smart and know that fruits and veggies are best for their bodies. Whether you taught them this truth or they heard it at school or in a song, they know fruits and veggies are healthy. While we can all agree on the benefits of veggies, there are so many other foods we expose our children to. Like dairy, is dairy okay? Is gluten-free necessary? Fruit juice for kids? Sugar in moderation? What draws the line to having too much sugar? For instance, if your children eat all their fruits and veggies, and if they enjoy a can of soda, what does that say to them? It says that it's okay to eat healthy foods and junk foods, that is confusing.
A few weeks ago Annabelle came home from school and asked me to buy her small bottles of almond milk that she could bring into class. At school Annabelle is part of the cooking club, she loves cooking. One Thursday after baking some cookies in the cooking club, the teacher offered the kids a cup of milk. Annabelle doesn't drink whole milk, she declined and had only the cookies. When she told me this I was so impressed and shocked honestly. Not shocked because she didn’t have the cup of milk, but shocked because she was in a different setting and a teacher offered her the cup of milk, I feel like it would have been so easy to just drink it. I asked Annabelle why she didn’t take the cup and she responded “ Mom, I know that if I drink whole milk my nose will be stuffy and my throat doesn’t feel too well. And I didn’t want to not feel well so I just didn’t drink it” -- Proud mom moment. Our children are so smart, they pick up on everything, how beautiful it is to teach our children to listen and understand their bodies at such a young age.
Let’s stop allowing our children to be picky eaters, it's our responsibility as mothers to instill healthy core values. Children are brilliant. They are sponges that absorb a wealth of information and value. They have the ability to learn much faster than we can. Let's sit down and have conversations about how important health is and turn into a core value. Let's cook more meals with our children, pick out veggies together at the market, and teach them how to make healthy choices.